sacrifice.

I am reading the book of Romans, which is filled with verses on a TON of different topics, but with sacrifice in mind, I have noticed a lot that has to deal with this topic. Before this week, I have never considered making a sacfice for God. Not because I don't think he is worth it, but because I have always had the idea in my head that making sacrifices was like slaughtering lambs on an alter.. haha. Not exactly something I was thinking about doing. But I got to thinking, and I realized SO MUCH!! Sacrifice is something that has nothing to do with killing poor lambs, but it is actually a very important part of our faiths. Romans 8:32 says "He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all..." God made the ultimate sacrifice for us. He freakin sent his son, his OWN SON, to this earth and let him die. If you've read the bible or seen the movies, you know how much Christ suffered before his death. God let that happened, he had planned for that to happen. Why? Why would he make the greatest sacrifice for us? Because he loves us, more than we will ever come close to understanding. So why is it that it is so hard for us humans to make sacrifices? This week I thought about how selfish I am. Along with many other people I'm sure, I want so many things on this earth. I put a lot of time and effort into all this stuff that isn't the Lord. And even if I did put as much effort into the Lord as I do with other things on this earth, it still isn't enough. I realized how selfish I truly was. I didn't want to make sacrifices for him. He was so willing to give up is one and only son for me, and here I am being so absorbed in my own life and the things that I have. "They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator." Romans 1:25 So many times I feel like I care more about my boyfriend, or my clothes, or my looks, or my school, or my friends than I care about God. I had so many great things going for me, and I was reasonably happy with everything and everyone. Then it all of a sudden seemed like I ran into a wall and stopped dead in my tracks. It was hard to get into the word, it was hard to journal, it was hard to pray. I realized it was because I had turned my focus to things other than God. I was finding comfort in worldy things that had finally let me down, things that could no longer sustain me.
I realized that it was time to sacrifice those "good" things in my life because I had to be with the Lord.

These past few days I've really had a chance to sit and think about the sacrifices I have chosen to make. At this point, I am so happy! So many times people think that they find happiness in things of this world, but no matter how good something may seem, it can NEVER beat the happiness that you can find in the Lord. It's frustrating that sometimes it takes a moment of being humbled, a moment of embarrassment and shame when we realize that we're off track. But in those moments, those truly blessed moments, we see the beauty of the Lord. We see the light in all the darkness and the promise that God has made us. He is always there, and he is always waiting for us to come back to him and be with him. As Christians, we are so blessed to have a God of undescribeable worth backing us in all we do, no matter how much we mess up and no matter what we do.

I'm sitting in class, obviously very bored with the lecture, and just thinking about life. Not only am I thinking about life, but I am thinking about a life filled with the presence of God. I am thinking about a christian life. I am thinking about my life.

These past few days, I have really been humbled. I have had one of those "Aha!" moments. Life is worth nothing if we don't have God, our Father and maker of LIFE at our side. Of course, even if we don't know it, want it, or acknowledge it, God is always by our sides. The difference is that we can either ignore it or do something about it. And by doing something about it I don't mean simply going to church on Sundays and Wednesdays, I don't mean just praying before we eat, and I'm not inferring that we just have to say "I'm a Christian," but I am asserting that we must live for Christ, for God.

We must give control over to the Lord. For a while, it has been incredibly difficult for me to do that. I had doubts and I didn't trust. BUT WHAT IS NOT TO TRUST??! He is the father of the universe. He sees all, hears all, knows all. I have been wondering why it is so difficult for people to just give it up and let God. Just LET God do his thing. I realized that it is because we are selfish. We are a selfish race and we want what we thinks makes us happy. Unfortunately, nothing that we think will make us happy on this Earth can actually bring us true happiness and joy. NOTHING. The good part about this is that we can give up everything, but we will end up with more than that. It's hard to comprehend, and I'll admit that I don't know why it works like this with God or even how, but I do know that it is what I want. I do know that it is something that everyone should want, because there is nothing better. Love from another human, all the money in the world, the nicest car, a great education, NOTHING can beat giving all of that up to seek the Lord because he is worth more than anything this Earth has to offer.

He is eternal. "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5 He promises us that. I am so excited to go after him whole-heartedly! I am so excited to see what he can do in my life!